Introduction:
In an age where vulnerability and authenticity are celebrated, it can be challenging to determine the boundaries between sharing our personal experiences and oversharing. This post explores the delicate balance between being genuine, and protecting our well-being while sharing our stories with others.
(Note: The following is an excerpt from the long-form podcast with Emily White which you can listen to here. It's been minimally edited for context with permission).
Interview Excerpt:
T.L.: How does a musician curate their social media without burning out? It can get so overwhelming sometimes.
Emily White: Well, that's where the 1 hour business day comes in, and by "business day," I mean making sure you're not posting on weekends and holidays unless you're inspired to do so. Setting limits is crucial because if you're constantly posting, you won't have time to work on your music, rehearse, or write!
I've seen some really good examples of musicians doing this to their advantage.
Zoe Keating, whom I interviewed for the book and podcast, goes in bursts or streaks. When she's in the recording studio, she doesn't use social media at all. But when she emerges from that creative space, she engages with her audience.
Another great example is Kam Franklin from The Suffers. She'll get overwhelmed with social media sometimes and take breaks. In her case, I suggested that she pin major announcements, such as releases or tours, on her social media accounts. She can let her fans know that the best way to stay in touch is through her text or email list and perhaps Patreon. It's important for her to prioritize her mental health, and her audience will understand and support that decision.
Speaking for myself, I've also felt overwhelmed by social media recently, even though I don't have a million followers or anything. I took a week off from everything to catch up on other aspects of my life. I'm actually considering hiring an assistant to monitor my social accounts, not to compromise authenticity, but to ensure that I don't miss any important interactions.
These are just a few strategies, and it's essential to find a balance that works for you. The 1-hour business day guideline can help you stay on track and avoid burning out.
T.L.: Yeah, that's really helpful. I appreciate your insights. It's really true, treating ourselves as a business is an important perspective to have.
Emily White: Absolutely, it's crucial to approach your music career with a business mindset. (Edit:Not because ''you're in it for the money'', but because it's your job, you're a professional).
T.L.: You mentioned the importance of taking care of fans and cultivating a loyal audience. Could you share more about how to nurture audiences without crossing the line between authenticity and oversharing? An audience member just asked this question as well.
Emily White: That's a great question. It's important to listen to your intuition in those situations and keep your interactions positive. Also, consider your intentions when sharing something. Are you sharing it to help others or communicate something meaningful, or is it driven by ego?
It's crucial to be authentic but also mindful of what you're sharing and why. Taking a moment to meditate or reflect on your intentions can help you determine if you're oversharing or not.
T.L.: The one buzzword that keeps going around is 'vulnerability', right? But it's so easy to transition from vulnerability into a space that resembles victimhood. Do you have a specific compass there?
Emily White: Yeah, I mean, how do we even define vulnerability....I think it's about being yourself but also knowing your limits, and then also knowing when you need to take a break and pull back, which could be for a day. Right? It doesn't necessarily have to be an extended period of time.
So yeah, like I said, it's like, be yourself, but it doesn't mean you need to share everything. Share the elements that you're comfortable with.
It's like when I went through a traumatic experience (of having a stalker I had to report), I don't think it would have benefited anything for me to have shared that while it was happening. It after it was over that I felt, 'okay, I can communicate this clearly now'. But yeah, just know your boundaries and know your limits.
Authenticity is whatever it means to you. Right now, for example, my mental health hasn't been great this past week for a variety of reasons. And I've been meaning to share that because people just saw me on the Times Square jumbotron....and they tend to just see that, right?
(Source: Twitter)A part of me also wanted to share that I was super depressed the day before the jumbotron went up, but I didn't. I just shared that here, now. But I'm sharing that with intention, cos I am fine now. And the idea is not to go on here like, "I'm depressed, everything sucks"...and so on.
I just want to highlight the humanity behind all of this. Because otherwise, people just tend to see the highlights, like a huge social media post of me in Times Square. Which again, is actually a reflection of our team and our work in its entirety, and deserves due acknowledgment.
So it's whatever you're comfortable sharing or not sharing, and when and again, what your intention is and what the 'why' behind it.
T.L. Do accept my gratitude for trusting this platform for sharing that. I really appreciate it.
Summary: Key Points:
1. The Fine Line Between Authenticity and Oversharing:
- Authenticity is a buzzword that has gained prominence, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself.
- However, it's crucial to recognize that oversharing can lead to unintentional consequences, such as crossing into victimhood territory.
- Finding the right balance ensures that our authenticity shines through without compromising our emotional well-being.
2. Defining Vulnerability:
- Vulnerability plays a significant role in an artist's life and in connecting with others.
- It's essential to understand vulnerability in the context of our personal and professional lives.
- Defining our own boundaries helps us maintain a healthy level of vulnerability without becoming overwhelmed.
3. Knowing Your Limits:
- Authenticity does not mean sharing every detail of our lives.
- Recognize your limits and understand when it's necessary to take a step back and recharge.
- Taking breaks, even for a short period, can help maintain a sustainable level of authenticity.
4. Intention and the 'Why':
- Consider the intention behind sharing your experiences.
- Reflect on why you want to share certain aspects of your life and the impact it may have on others.
- Sharing with purpose and understanding the "why" can help maintain authenticity while staying grounded.
5. Humanity Behind the Highlights:
- It's easy for others to perceive only the polished and positive aspects of our lives on social media.
- Sharing moments of vulnerability and challenges can help humanize our experiences and provide a more well-rounded picture.
- By sharing the human side behind our accomplishments, we foster deeper connections and combat the illusion of perfection.
Emily White
Entrepreneur, Author & Podcast Host
Emily White is a Partner at Collective Entertainment and the Founder of #iVoted Festival.
She is the author of the Amazon #1 best-selling 'How to Build a Sustainable Music Career and Collect All Revenue Streams' and hosts the book’s accompanying podcast of the same name.
The podcast is the #1 Music Business podcast globally, charting on six continents with listeners in 140+ countries.
Her clients have included Amanda Palmer and Imogen Heap.
