Can Your 'Why' Change? (The Evolution of Intent)

This was a blurb I came up with during my daily walk down Kastanienallee in Berlin. It revolves around the evolution of an artist's 'why'. And how mine transitioned from a source of happiness to a survival technique, and finally focused on healing. It's been edited for contextual purposes. You can watch the original video below.

Can your 'why'change?

I talk a lot about 'finding your why' as an artist. 

But we rarely take a minute to examine the nature of intent. That it can be fluid. 

So what happens when you have found your why and you've been practicing your art on the basis of it for years...and then find out one day that it's changed?

What happens then?

I recently realized, that my 'why' has been changing all my life. So I thought I'd take you through a bit of my journey to reassure you, in case you're going through something similiar.

 ''...happiness was a song for me... or emotion was a song for me.

I'm not really 100% sure know what my first 'why ' in Music was.

My mom says I'd just sing all day long. (Children tend to sing quite a bit anyways before adulthood inhibits us with conditioning and trauma). 

But apparently, I would just not stop singing. Kept humming all day long.

So I'm guessing my first 'why' was just because happiness was a song for me. Or emotion, was a song for me.

..music was just a survival technique

Later on, as my family started getting more nomadic, (I'm talking about the first nine years of my life), my 'why' for music was having something constant. 

I grew up on 3 continents and 4 countries. And for a child in his most formative years, that can be an incredibly overwhelming experience, without always realizing it. I think music was my only constant. 

 School for me in my teenage years was an absolute nightmare. Music was the only thing I was not a complete disaster at, (despite having exceptionally high IQ that had gotten me placed almost 3 grades above my age in a different country).

It was literally the only thing (I felt at the time) that I was remotely good at: So I just couldn't stop. It was kinda all I had.

I played music to survive then .

Survival was my 'why'.

''...eventually it became a spiritual calling.''

Eventually, music became a spiritual calling of sorts. I had these near-mystical experiences while performing music. I know this is a bit woo-woo for some people, but these gave me a certain kind of hunger.

A thirst for a certain brand of exploration through music, which I knew was not something I could ignore. That was my 'why' through my through most of my early adult years.

Truth be told, it's only been in recent years that I talk about this publicly. (I have my teachers Kai Eckhardt and Kenny Werner a lot to thank for that. Mostly for setting an inspiring precedent in a world where legitimate pedagogy and spirituality were strictly exclusive).

''...the ultimate purpose of music is – healing''.

Of late, my 'why' for music has been healing. Looking upon it as a healing modality.

Medicine is my 'why' for music.

And that's probably an oversimplified thing to say. I'm not referring to conventional modalities of music therapy, (even though I respect those a lot).

But healing has been my 'why' of late, and I think that's going to be my last why in this lifetime.

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I feel like my entire journey so far has been one long lesson in understanding that that is what the ultimate purpose of music is. (It's also why I founded the Holistic Musician Academy).

So those were my 'why's. And I just want to say if you're struggling to find yours, don't fret.

And if you find your 'why' changing, I'd even argue it could be a good sign. Reflective of growth. (Ideally anyways).

I'm sure these things can be very relative.

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